Dec 15

Stupid Kid Runs Up $22,000 Cell Phone Bills On Dad’s Dime

By Dropped On Your Head on December 15th, 2009 at 1:55 pm in Teens No Comments »
"Man, maybe now he'll stop sending me pics of his balls."

"Man, maybe now he'll stop sending me pics of his balls."

Well, you’d think if you’re giving your kid a cell phone you’d be intuitive enough to make sure they are on unlimited text and data plans.  But obviously, this guy isn’t the hippest dad on the block.

The Consumerist writes:

After a man [Ted Estarija] added his 13-year old son to his Verizon plan, his cellphone bill rocketed to nearly $22,000.

In a month’s time, the boy downloaded almost 1.4 million kilobytes of data. The family didn’t have a data plan, so Verizon charged them by the megabyte. After initial reports about the story broke, Verizon agreed to refund the entire bill, which is pretty nice because usually they’ll just split the difference. The father said he would be removing his son from his cellphone plan.

Like credit card fraud, there should be some kind of fail-safes for this kind of incident. For instance, if the bill is over 500% more than last months, they call you up and say, “are you sure you wanna do that?”

Teen runs up cell phone bill of nearly $22,000 [AP] (Thanks to GitEmSteveDave!)

If Verizon hadn’t ditched those charges, you’d probably be reading a story about a dad who savagely beat his kid to death for running up a huge cell phone bill.

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Dec 07

Finally Help For People Who Can’t Stand The Shitty Taste Of Alcohol

By Dropped On Your Head on December 7th, 2009 at 11:45 am in Uncategorized No Comments »

Uh oh. Some real competition for Xanax!

Uh oh. Some real competition for Xanax!

Okay, a pill that you can take to get drunk instead of buying $10 drinks at bars is pretty awesome.  I mean, if it wasn’t for the cost of booze and the terrible taste of liquor, why would I ever be sober?

Huffington Posts reports (see links in their story to other source material):

Thanks to a new technique developed by Russian professor Evgeny Moskalev, now you can get drunk without drinking.

Moskalev has created an “alcohol pill” using a method that transforms alcohol into a powder, which can then be packed into potent pills.

“We have developed a technology that allowed us to turn any liquid solution into powder,” Professor Moskalev said.

He reports having tested his technique on liquor “containing as much as 96% alcohol content,” notes MyFoxSpokane.

Moskalev claims to be able to create an alcohol pill from just about any boozy beverage, including whiskey, cognac, beer, and wine, the Times of India reports.

The Times Of India describes how these “vodka pills” or “whiskey pills” could be taken by people in lieu of drinking.

Oh, and I bet the pill has no carbs and zero calories.  Fuck yeah!  If this thing eventually ends up coming to market and being legal, look forward to many more great Dropped On Your Head posts to come!

Man, if they can finally come up with a herpes pill my life would be perfect!

Popularity: 96%

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Dec 07

Sacramento Kid Going To Prison For “Accidentally” Downloading Child Porn

By Dropped On Your Head on December 7th, 2009 at 11:34 am in Criminals No Comments »
"I swear I don't like to jack off to 8 year olds!"

"I swear I don't like to jack off to 8 year olds!"

Have you ever noticed that nobody ever admits to purposely downloading child porn?  This idiot in Sacramento claimed he was downloading legal (albeit pirated) porno from Limewire a couple of years ago (do people still use Limewire???) and ‘accidentally’ downloaded some kiddie porn.  Eventually, the feds came a knockin’ and now he’s fucked.

CBS13.com writes:

SACRAMENTO (CBS13) ― Matthew White, 22, said he was surfing for pornography two years ago on Limewire — a fire sharing application that allows users to trade music, movies, games and pictures — when he discovered that some of the files he had downloaded were images of children.

Matt claims he quickly erased the files.

“It didn’t appeal to me,” he said. “I was looking for women my age, so I just wanted to download ‘College Girls Gone Wild’ and accidentally downloaded underage pornography.”

About a year later, FBI agents showed up at his family’s home. The family agreed to let agents examine the computer, and at first, they couldn’t find anything.

Investigators later were able to recover the deleted images from deep within the hard drive.

Wow, the files were “deep” inside his hard drive.  Like 2 microns.  When he gets out of prison in a few years he should learn about using secure delete.  Doh.

Popularity: 37%

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Dec 04

Air Force Relunctantly Admits, “If We Kicked Out All The Tattooed Idiots There’d Be Nobody Left”

By Dropped On Your Head on December 4th, 2009 at 2:54 pm in Military No Comments »
"Sure, my sons a fucking idiot, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't be allowed to kill brown people for our country!"

"Sure, my son's a fucking idiot, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't be allowed to kill brown people for our country!"

Apparently the US Air Force didn’t notice that every kid in America now has a plethora of retarded tattoos when it tried to institute a new stricter ink policy last month.  After realizing that they’d have to kick out every new recruit, they scrapped the new tougher guidelines.

News10.net (Sacramento) writes:

SACRAMENTO, CA – One week after the Air Force adopted a strict prohibition of tattoos on the “saluting arm,” the new policy has been scrapped.  A spokeswoman for the Air Force Recruiting Service in San Antonio, Christa D’Andrea, said the regulation that took effect Nov. 25 has been dropped and the entire tattoo policy will be reviewed.

“It’s an effort to standardize the policy for all members of the Air Force,” D’Andrea said.

As many as 17,000 recruits who joined under the delayed entry program were potentially affected by the ban on right-arm body art.  The Air Force said it did not want tattoos to be seen when an airman salutes.  The updated policy also prohibited tattoos on either hand.

This week some recruits were told they had been disqualified under the new rule even though their tattoos had been approved under previous, more lenient guidelines.

The tattoo ban was first reported Monday by News10 and generated national attention and controversy.

D’Andrea acknowledged media coverage played a role in the decision to reconsider the tattoo crackdown.  “It was unfortunate there were recruits caught in the middle,” she said.

Enlistees who were not able to begin basic training this week at Lackland Air Force base because of the new tattoo policy would be rescheduled for future dates, D’Andrea said.

They should at least keep the provision preventing male recruits from having tramp stamps.  That’s just wrong.

"I still hope they let me kill me some Japs!"

"I still hope they let me kill me some Japs!"

Popularity: 100%

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Nov 25

“Balls Tapping” A Disturbing New Trend In Indiana Schools?

By Dropped On Your Head on November 25th, 2009 at 2:36 pm in Teens No Comments »

Okay, apparently the cool new thing to do is to kick your buddies in the nuts at school.  Even girls are kicking guys in the nuts.  What I don’t understand is why does it have to be ball tapping that’s in style? Why can’t it be ball sucking?  Also, a quick YouTube search reveals over 2,000 ball tapping videos!

From WTHR13:

It’s a disturbing game with devastating consequences, and a new WTHR survey suggests it is rampant in Indiana schools.

“Ball tapping” is the act of intentionally hitting or kicking a male in the genitals. Earlier this month, an Eyewitness News investigation showed the game has become commonplace in some area schools, resulting in serious injuries for students.

As part of the investigation, WTHR also conducted a statewide survey of school nurses. The results are in, and they show the problem of ball tapping is more common and widespread than many school officials had realized.

“New perspective”

School nurses from 163 Indiana schools participated in the anonymous survey, and 33% of those nurses said they’re aware of ball tapping happening at their school within the past twelve months.

Check out the full story to see some video and interviews with some kids who’ve had their nuts ruined.  Here’s my issue, if someone is kicking my son in the nuts all the time, I’d be teaching the scrawny idiot how to kick them in the teeth or perform “American History X” style curb stompings.  Watch the ‘ball tapping’ stop real quick.

Popularity: 67%

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Nov 23

Idiots Start Pot Farm Next Door To Police Station

By Dropped On Your Head on November 23rd, 2009 at 8:08 pm in Criminals, Drugs and Booze No Comments »

Los Angeles’ marijuana problem is clearly out of control.  Last week police in the Canoga Park section of the city discovered a gigantic pot farm right next door to their brand new division headquarters.

NBC Los Angeles writes:

The LAPD Wednesday busted a sophisticated marijuana farm inside the industrial building. The warehouse is just 25 feet from the back door of the Topanga Community Police Station.

About a week ago, officers smelled marijuana coming from the building at 8411 Canoga Ave., just a few feet from the station at 21501 Schoenborn St., said Officer Karen Rayner of the LAPD’s Media Relations Section.

Officers said it was about eight months before anybody noticed the operation. Officers notified the narcotics unit, which started an investigation.

“They noticed that traffic in and out of the building was very minimal,” Rayner said. “The ventilation had also been upgraded. The utility bills were disproportionately higher. The rooms in the building were filled with hydroponics equipment.”

Rayner said the farmers had also “gone to great lengths to filter the air coming out of every hole that might leak to the outside.”

All the places where the smell might have come had been plugged with liquid caulking stuff, she said.

“But it was not enough,” Rayner said. “Their luck ran out.”

Call me crazy, but of all the places you could put a marijuana pot farm warehous, what the hell would you put it directly behind a police station?  Doing something like that will just get you featured on Dropped On Your Head! Idiots!

Popularity: 38%

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Nov 17

Drunk Idiot Thinks He’s A Ninja, Impales Himself On Fence

By Dropped On Your Head on November 17th, 2009 at 3:35 pm in Drugs and Booze No Comments »

Another drunken idiot thinks he has super human abilitiy.  The Seattle Times writes:

Seattle police say an intoxicated 25-year-old man, who told officers he believed he was a ninja, was impaled on a metal spike Monday night after a failed attempt to jump a 5-foot fence.

Around 11:15 p.m., officers responded to the 600 block of Seventh Avenue after a 41-year-old man called police to say he had been assaulted, said police spokeswoman Renee Witt. Officers arrived and found the impaled would-be ninja, Witt said.

It turns out the older man, who was heavily intoxicated, tried to go into a sports bar in the 600 block of King Street, Witt said. The younger man, who isn’t a bar employee, barred the man from going inside– and an argument between the two men escalated into a fight.

At one point, the men chased each other in the street, she said. In an attempt to get away, the younger man “thought he’d basically be able to jump over this fence, and he didn’t quite make it,” Witt said. As a police account of the incident notes, “Clearly he was overconfident in his abilities.”

As police arrived to search for a suspect, one officer heard the 25-year-old’s screams and found him stuck on the fence with the metal spike jutting out from his buttock, Witt said. The man was bleeding profusely.

He was taken to Harborview Medical Center, she said. Questioned at the hospital, the man told police he believed he was a ninja.

Sadly, he wasn’t a ninja.  Just a drunken asshole with a fence up his ass.

Popularity: 46%

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Nov 13

TMZ Reports DJ AM Estate Suing Air Charter Company For Wrongful Death

By Dropped On Your Head on November 13th, 2009 at 2:40 pm in Celebrities, Dead Idiots, Drugs and Booze No Comments »

Well before I get to my analysis, this is what TMZ has to say:

A pretty incredible twist in the death of DJ AM (aka Adam Goldstein) … The company that chartered the plane carrying DJ AM that crashed in South Carolina is now being sued for wrongful death because “the crash ultimately caused Adam Goldstein’s death.”

The amended suit in L.A. County Superior Court notes DJ AM was forced to take various drugs as a result of the burns he suffered, along with the emotional distress.

In addition to Clay Lacy Aviation, DJ AM’s estate is suing the travel service, Goodyear Tire, Learjet and the estates of the two pilots who were killed in the crash.

Ultimately DJ AM’s death was caused by a combination of various prescription drugs, along with cocaine.

My analysis: Maybe this was, in fact, the cause of his death, and being a self-hating crackhead had nothing to do with it.  His family must be very distraught over his death, as they also cant bear the sight of looking at the dead DJ’s massive sneaker collection any more, so they’re selling it on Ebay.

Yeah, I hope my family can one day get rich off my passive suicide as well.  At least AM’s untimely death saved us from more terrible acting performances, like the one in the above Entourage clip.

Popularity: 39%

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Nov 13

Maybe The Stereotype About Bad Asian Drivers Isn’t So Off Base

By Dropped On Your Head on November 13th, 2009 at 9:11 am in International Idiots No Comments »

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Wow.  This crazy old bag in Seoul South Korea has been taking the written driver’s exam every day for the past 4 years and has finally passed it – on her 950th time! Are you out of your damn mind?  Thankfully I live on the other side of the planet than this chick or my already astronomical car insurance rates would explode like an overcooked pot sticker.

MSNBC writes:

SEOUL, South Korea – A woman in South Korea who tried to pass the written exam for a driver’s license with near-daily attempts since April 2005 has finally succeeded on her 950th time.

The aspiring driver spent more than 5 million won ($4,200) in application fees, but until now had failed to score the minimum 60 out of a possible 100 points needed to get behind the wheel for a driving test.

Cha Sa-soon, 68, finally passed the written exam with a score of 60 on Wednesday, said Choi Young-chul, a police official at the drivers’ license agency in Jeonju, 130 miles (210 kilometers) south of Seoul.

Local media said she took the test 950 times. Now she must pass a driving test before getting her license, Choi said.

If you’re 68 and obviously retarded, why the hell are you even getting a driver’s license?  Riddle me that!

Popularity: 79%

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Nov 11

Damn BlackBerry! Drug Dealers Butt Dial 911 – Man That Sucks!

By Dropped On Your Head on November 11th, 2009 at 3:53 pm in Drugs and Booze No Comments »

Only in Oklahoma!  A pair of bungling drug dealers butt dialed 911 right in the middle of their narcotics negotiation.  Of course, the entire conversation was recorded and they were arrested.

KSBI TV-52 (Thunder TV) writes:

On the 911 emergency call, a dispatcher said, “:What’s the address of your emergency?  911?”

“They can sell it. it’s dope, but it’s not good dope,” The men discussed amongst themselves on the tape.

Two Yukon men mistakenly call emergency responders, while they’re counting out illegally obtained pills, marijuana, and ecstasy.  The phone remains on inside one of the suspects’ pockets for 30 minutes.

“How much of the ’X’ do you want?  50….50%?” the suspects said.

Police track the call to a Yukon house and arrest 43-year-old Mark Alan Clair and 42-year-old Shannon McAlister for drug possession with intent to distribute.

And I thought butt dialing your ex-girlfriend was bad! I leave you with this:

Popularity: 58%

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